Friday, June 13th, 2008...2:48 pm
#14: Don't Fear The Waxer
Listen, you can have all the best work in the world done. You can get botoxed and Restalyned till you’re smooth as a balloon; you can have your boobs lifted to your chin and your tummy tucked into your backbone.
But if you don’t wax down there, anybody who gets close enough is going to know you’re old.
Waxing and how to shave pubic hair are the great divide between young and older women. We came of age feeling it was sacrilegious to so much as pluck one hair. They decided to shear most of it off. And even when we thought maybe we’d surprise our husbands for our 20th anniversary, we were nervous. We saw The 40-Year-Old Virgin, after all. We knew it was going to hurt, plus be embarrassing, plus who knew what kind of diseases you might pick up.
If you’re a Waxing Virgin, don’t be afraid. It’s not that bad. And the alternative is even worse: Old below the belt.
Hi Pam,
Thanks for letting me look at this very funny blog. I do have a comment on hair, from the male side. For mostly bald older guys, the way not to look old is to avoid wearing shiny black toupees. I actually had a vague hankering for one until my mother-in-law, laughing, told me, “Just don’t buy a rug!” So I think I’ll go for the shaved-pate look. Lots of young bald guys do that.
I’ve been trying to face this one…I can give birth, but I can’t get a bikini wax. I get as far as the salon and then go home to my trusty razor.
I am 22, so I am qualified to tell you that one way not to act old is not to broadcast sad old misogynistic tee-heeing insecurities about the female body. This advice tip is really fucking old, in every way.
Ask your gynecologist how smart waxing is – mine (a woman) says she sees more women with preventable infections/problems than she needs to. The reason? Waxing.
I had this conversation with a man. He likes the waxed look, I told him I’d do it if he did it first. He wouldn’t take me up on the offer.
I’d say this advice tip is a bit old. Keep your body hair however you like it! Misogyny and body hate are old – whatever you do with your hair, enjoy it, whether it involves waxing or trimming or going natural. Oh yeah, and I’m 24, so I feel qualified to mention this tip seems outdated.
I did the au naturel. Then earlier this year I got a brazilian. Ow, ow, ooooow!!! I felt very vulnerable. It wasn’t appreciated the way I thought it would be And so I’m not doing it again. A little off the sides, maybe. But since most people aren’t going to get to see my nethers, its up to me how I decide that bush to be.
A little advice from a man: A man is so happy to get to the point where he finds out whether you have hair or not, he will hardly care. No man will ever, ever say: “You have public hair, I can’t continue until you shave.”
If you have a significant other, you may want to take his/her preference into account. But do what makes you happy.
To show you hold old I am, I didn’t know what a Brazilian wax was until I saw the movie “A Serious Man” by the Coen brothers. Sexy actress who got naked had to wear a “merkin”, which is a hairpiece for the naked pubis. Now I’ve heard everything!
The only waxing I will ever do will be with Pledge. On my furniture. Any man who likes the waxed look gets the same response I give to men who like heels: if you like it so much, have at it. Knock yourself out. Then come back and talk to me about it. Just sayin’.
To Chuck:
Thank You for saying that! You are absolutely right!
You should do whatever makes you happy. If oral sex makes you happy and your lover doesn’t like a face full of fur, maybe you’ll be more motivated to wax. Quite frankly, all you need is to trim as far as I’m concerned. I don’t ask what I can’t reciprocate. I keep myself shaved–my wife gags on loose hairs (among other things!). I think worrying about how old you act by the amount of pubic hair you have is a little after the fact if you’re already naked with your lover and he’s “close enough”, don’t you?
My opinion is that men who INSIST on a completely bare pubic area have issues. A bare pubis is very pre-adolescent. I have not been 11 for many moons and do not want to have sex with anyone who thinks that my privates need to look like they belong to an 11 year old.