Tuesday, June 17th, 2008...11:05 am
#26: Shave The Mustache
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I might have said Don’t Grow A Goatee, but my husband has a goatee and he looks pretty good in it, or at least he’s had it so long we’re afraid to see what he looks like without it. So I’ll hold the line here at mustache.
Mustaches are the facial hair of cops and porn stars. Most men who wear mustaches do so because they grew them in 1978 at the behest of some foxy chick, and still think a hairy upper lip makes them look 23, or 47 at the very oldest.
Guys, shave the ‘stache. Here if you dont know how, this will get you started: www.startifacts.com. And for the love of God, don’t replace it with a soul patch. You can do a full beard these days, but only if you maintain it with proper beard oil and regular trimming.
I have to agree with this one, however I should add that they are also the facial hair of New York Yankee superstars. This season they have begun growing them earlier than last season and the 9 out of the last 11 victories proves there is merit in the flavor-savor!
I grew one last year around playoff time (I’m 36 so maybe I can barely get away with it) and the “porn-star chic” was unmistakeable. Some women were appaled and others, well let’s just say it’s a polarizing look!
Depends on what your scene is. Any New York, San Francisco, Portland (that’s OR), Seattle or Austin hipster will happily correct you on this one. An novelty moustache alone can probably make you pretty hip, but when combined with a bad, mom-style haircut and cardigan from Urban Outfitters, you’ll surely be the coolest kid around. Srsly.
Then again, if you’re over 40, it’s probably no longer out of “irony.”