Thursday, June 19th, 2008...12:58 am
#32: Avoid Avoiding Babies
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I know you’re not a monster; It’s just that you’re sooooooo over the baby thing. You’ve already put in your time jollying the infant who started crying in the middle of the meal, bouncing the toddler up and down the aisle of the plane, being pinned beneath the child who refused to sit anywhere but your lap. And you’re ready for some freedom.
But avoiding babies is like admitting you hate kittens, or sunshine. It makes you seem mean, cranky — dare I say Bush-like?
in the book you included a list of good excuses for not holding thme baby. here is one i recently used on my 31 year old sister who had here first child last year (i am 48)
my sister: “would you please hold olivia for a second?”
me: “i would but i’m kind of drunk”
Oh Janet- that slays me… and I’ll be borrowing it, if you don’t mind.
When (younger) friends proudly offer to let me hold their babies, I’m feeling like a deer in the headlights, dumbstruck about how to get out of it…
“I’d love to, but I have this horribly contagious skin infection” is a lie too easily revealed.
A polite “No, thanks” is somehow always regarded as my just joking. They laugh and then thrust the infant forward.
The brutally honest “I don’t want to hold your baby” can give birth to a whole new beast.
But “Kinda drunk”? Perfect. Creates the illusion that I’d like to but I am only thinking of the precious baby’s well-being.
Thanks.
This is hilarious. I don’t know how I missed those two!