HNTAO afficionados know that the whole point of this blog is to point out new ways of not acting old. We don’t warn against stereotypical granny behavior — covering your furniture in plastic, sucking on hard candies — because, duh, we all know we’re not supposed to do that, right? Right??? So why are you […]
Okay, I’ve been getting complaints. Ho Springs is okay, people have been telling me. But we really love How Not To Act Old and want you to write some new posts instead of just leaving that big honking Ho Springs ad up there day after livelong I’m-so-bored-I’m-going-to-blow-my-brains-out day. All right, not a very effective way […]
Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s Seinfeld Reunion finale may have attracted 98 percent of the viewers in the uncoveted 45 and over demographic. I was watching, though I couldn’t exactly tell you what happened or even whether the episode was any good. I was too busy checking out Larry David’s clothes. That’s right: Larry David is my […]
It’s official: How Not To Act Old has been optioned by DreamWorks to be a movie or a television show. This is obviously thrilling news. I don’t think it matters one bit that my book has no characters, story, or plot: Neither does most of what’s out there! What’s really important is who’s going to […]
Dear Grace, I just saw The September Issue, R.J. Cutler’s documentary about the making of last September’s issue of Vogue, and I’ve fallen in love with you. Absolutely head over heels. Before I count the ways, let me feature a picture of you in all your gorgeousness. Look at the excitement and energy in those […]
I know that none of my readers are that middle-aged guy who attacked Zac Efron, star of High School Musical 3 (and also, reportedly, 1 and 2). I’m sure that you would never do anything like that, no matter how badly you might want to. All of you know that beating up rich, famous young […]
You think I made this up? I WISH I were that creative. No, according to 23/6, porn filmmakers actually put out a casting call for Sarah Palin lookalikes, so the film may be coming to a dirty website near you by Election Day. I suppose I should find it cheering that the porn industry wants […]
Yes, John McCain, I’m talking to you. Lest you and Cindy decide that a fifth child would provide, ala Palin, a political advantage, I direct your attention to this new study that shows that children of fathers over 55 are more likely to develop bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses. Maternal age, I hasten to […]
Need role models for how not to act old? Two great ones whose biopics are playing in theatres right now: highwire artist Philippe Petit and rocker Patti Smith. If you want to feel inspired and energized by an individual’s undiminished drive and excitement about life, gallop don’t stroll to see Man on Wire, the story […]
Like most other Americans last weekend, I went to see The Dark Knight, aka the new Batman movie. Here was my experience of watching the film: Wow, Heath Ledger really does look weird. Scary. And yet strangely…comical. Those wrinkles under that makeup. That lizard tongue. And that voice, that accent, he sounds like someone, I […]
