It’s one thing for an ancient (that’s you, baby) to keep abreast (there’s an old word) of popular culture and stay aware of what the young and deck and hipsterish are doing just to torture you. But it’s quite another to attempt to actually be a hipster. You may think you can deconstruct all the […]
I vividly remember the first time I encountered the f word. I was six, newly proficient on a two-wheeler, taking an independent spin around the block when there it was, chalked right on the asphalt. I had never heard or seen this word before, but it must mean something important, I thought, to be written […]
Confused about whether you’re old or not? Here’s a little quiz to help you find out. If someone says it’s “snowing down south,” they’re trying to tell you: a) A shipment of cocaine has just arrived on the south side of town. b) Alabama is having some hella freaky weather. c) Your slip is showing. […]
Here is one of those weird cultural distinctions that almost every young person knows (my son Owen first enlightened me) and most old people are unaware of. What’s a Bro? And how is that different from a Brotha and a Brother — not to mention a brother from another mother and a brother from another […]
It’s not the act of copulation that’s the problem; it’s calling it “making love.” Or “sleeping with.” Or “getting it on.” When young people “do it,” they usually come right out and say “having sex.” Or sometimes (see #6), “hooking up.” Bone, jump, and play may be related words, but I only know that because […]
Admit it: You don’t really know what hookup (or hook-up or hook up) means. Is it meeting for coffee? Kissing? Having sex? Watching television together? Or getting engaged? The point is that you should avoid doing or even saying anything if you’re not certain of the implications. As cool and casual as it may make […]
My husband says all the ways not to act old can’t be depressing (i.e., things he himself does), so as #1 I offer up using language that has no right to come out of lips that are more than 45 years old….make that 35….make that 14. Using too-young slang is akin to wearing a yellow […]
